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Thursday 22 January 2015

Sleep

So many people have difficulties sleeping, and that can lead to so many issues. While most of them are easy to cope with, it doesn't mean it's not frustrating. I used to struggle a lot with getting to sleep and staying asleep. I wouldn't sleep until 3am, and I would wake up many times in the night, finally waking up at about 7am and being unable to get back to sleep again. Although I have improved both the quality and the length of my sleep, I still wake up occasionally in the night, but no way near as often anymore. I've tried many different things, and I'll share the best few that have worked for me.


  • Firstly, exercise. It may seem like I think exercise is the cure to everything, but I just think that it gives us so much more than we can imagine. Exercising can help to improve sleep in many ways. It can help you to sleep for longer, or have a less disturbed rest. If you don't already, try exercising to help you to sleep. I'm not asking you to suddenly become a professional athlete, try something basic like exercising for 30 minutes, three or four times per week. Do that for a month, and you may start to notice improvements.
  • If exercise is not your thing, and you prefer to try to relax, the next time you're going to sleep, instead of having a light on until you're ready to rest, use a candle. The light from a candle is less harsh on your eyes, and because it's no way near as strong as a light, it means that the room will be darker overall. Because there is less light, there is less to focus on around the room, and this can actually help you to drift off to sleep in a more natural way. If you do try this, do not forget to blow out the candle!!!
  • Reading can be a very good way of helping you to get to sleep, unless you're the type of person who feels the need to continue reading until 5am just so they can find out what happens next! But if you're the type of person who can happily read two or three chapters and leave it at that, then maybe reading before bed would be useful for you. 
  • A sleeping tip that I have heard so many times before is to avoid screens for a while before you try to sleep, this includes your phone, laptop, tv, etc. In all honesty, I've never actually tried this because I find that I get sleepy quickly even if I'm on my phone, but for some people it does work.
  • Sometimes when I can't sleep, I try to imagine myself in a peaceful place where I can relax. It always goes the same way. I walk through some palm trees and find a beach, I lie down and fall asleep hearing the sea. I've been told that's a form of meditation but I'm not completely sure whether that's correct, but I just find that doing something like that helps me. I've been doing that for a few years now and each time I do it, it helps me at least a bit. 
  • Occasionally, when I wake up randomly at 4am and can't get back to sleep, I listen to the radio. I find the most boring sounding station and just put it on. Usually it helps me to get to sleep within half an hour, however, sometimes I'm still awake two hours later with a lot more knowledge in my mind. I've learned about literature, sociological explanations for various aspects of our lives, animals and their life cycles. I never knew such dull, but immensely interesting things were spoken about at 4am. I'll even go as far to say that I prefer the radio at 4am than in the day. Anyway, that may be helpful for some of you, you can download apps for the radio on your phone if you don't have a radio feature already built into it.
  • The final suggestion I have is one that has helped me a lot over the last few weeks. It's a free app called Muji to Sleep. It's a very simple idea, you open the app, choose the sound you want to listen to, and the length of time you want it to play for (30/60/90mins). The sounds you can choose from are: the sea (gentle waves crashing), birds in a forest, fire, a river, trees swaying in the wind and a waterfall. The app says to listen to the sounds through headphones, but I just let it come out of my phone's speakers, but have it on a low volume. I tend to listen to the sea noise as I find that the most relaxing, and I leave the timer on 30 minutes. I have never been awake long enough to hear the sound ending after 30 minutes, however it does stop. I'm not sure whether it is draining on your battery as I leave my phone on charge at night, but if that is a problem for you, give it a test run in the day and see how it does.


If you gave any further questions, sleeping tips for others, or anything that you have done which has really helped you to have a better quality of sleep, please do share them by leaving a comment.

Tuesday 20 January 2015

How To Be A Better Friend/Have Better Friendships

A question that I have heard from many people in the past is 'how can I be a better friend' or 'how can I have better friendships', and while there is no simple method to make everything better overnight, there are some steps that you can follow. They may sound simple, but they're worth trying.

I'd like to start off by saying that I personally believe that people who are nice to others, attract nice people as friends. I guess this could be seen as a form of karma- kindness towards others ultimately brings kindness back to you.



  • If you have a friend/friends/a friendship group who treat you badly, and do so frequently- get them out of your life. They may be your only friends, but you can always go and make friends with new people. Your friends should be chosen because you enjoy their company, you enjoy the same things, or just get along well. Your friends should not be people who are mean, hurtful, disrespectful, etc towards you- if they are, they are not real friends. 
  • Be honest- don't be afraid to voice your opinion. Friendships require honesty on both sides.
  • Don't do things you don't want to, just because they want you to do it. Don't go against your morals or values just to make your friend happy. If they are your real friends, they will understand. 
  • If something is bothering you, tell them. Your friends will appreciate your honesty, and will try their hardest to help you in whatever way they can. 
  • Be understanding that they will like different things to you- for example they will have different music tastes, different hobbies, etc. They will not like the same things as you, and don't try to make them! Instead be open minded, and maybe do something they enjoy doing. Compromising is important to a great friendship. Even if you do not enjoy it much yourself, they will enjoy sharing the experience with you.
  • Text back. You don't have to text back instantly, and the conversation doesn't have to go on forever, but respond to texts whenever you get a chance. It's just far more polite to respond quickly than to not respond at all and leave the other person waiting for a response. 
  • Be trustworthy- if your friend tells you something that they do not want the world to know, don't tell anyone (unless their life, or someone else's life is in serious danger). They privacy should be respected, and if they do not want the world to know something, don't make it public knowledge. Your friend should be able to trust you with information, and know that you won't tell everyone. 
  • If your friend is having a bad day, week, or just a bad time in general, be supportive. Make sure they know that you are there for them if they require your help.

By being a 'better friend', it can often improve friendships as the other person feels that they can trust and rely on you much more, therefore making your friendship stronger. Different things will work for different people, but if you are in a toxic friendship, don't stay for longer than you need to- its not worth the pain it can cause you. 

Tuesday 6 January 2015

Motivation

Motivation can be tough- whether you're trying to motivate yourself to do well at school, to keep up with a hobby or just to do something you don't want to do. If you have struggled with motivation in the past, this may be helpful for you, or if you feel like you could be more motivated in the future. All of these tips are ones which I have found helpful in the past.


  • Get enough sleep. Sound simple, but it can actually have a huge impact. When you don't sleep enough, or have disturbed nights, you can feel very tired for long periods of time. This tiredness will cause you to want to rest and not do whatever it is that you want or need to do. So, try- if you can- to have a better sleep. If you cannot sleep for long, try having naps during the day when you have free time. If your sleep is not good at all, and hasn't been for a long period of time, it may be worth speaking to a doctor as there could be many causes of this which they will be able to help you with.
  • Find your drive. Whether it's something big like you wanting to run because you're aiming for a marathon, or something small such as you wanting to get out of bed early tomorrow morning to be able to have an extra few minutes to get yourself ready- as long as it's something driving you to do what needs to be done, listen to it. If you're at school and you're struggling for motivation for exams, think of something like- if you spend a few days or weeks revising now, it'll positively impact your performance in your exam, therefore meaning that you will achieve a higher grade.
  • Think ahead. Will it matter in a week if you don't do your homework? Yes, it might, in that case, use the fact that it is a short term goal to encourage you to get it over and done with. If however it doesn't matter in a week if you've done something, such as going for a walk on one day, then you can allow yourself to have a day off if you need it.
  • Don't push yourself too hard. if you expect too much of yourself and set your standards too high, disappointment often follows. You need to work to your abilities. If you are too tired to clean the house, do it another day when you feel up to it. If you're too stressed to do your shift at work, see if it can be switched to another day. This may not be possible for all jobs, but some will understand. If you do it though, don't make a regular habit of it.
  • Find friends with similar interests. For example, if you want to start cycling but often don't feel motivated to do it. Find some friends who want to join you, or look to see if there are any local that you can join, that way you can also make friends with similar interests.
  • Focus on the end goal. Whether you want to get healthy, get through education or get through this week- focus on the goal. Keep in mind what you are working towards, and how good it will feel when you get there. Remind yourself that without hard work, it'll be much more difficult to get there.



If you have any further questions, motivation tips for others, or anything that you have done which has really helped you to feel motivated, please do share them by leaving a comment.